


As I sit in Silence

by Salty_and_OverDramatic



Series: Remember Me [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Blood, M/M, kerberos!lance au, they are the prisoners of the galra
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-06 06:48:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13405716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salty_and_OverDramatic/pseuds/Salty_and_OverDramatic
Summary: He couldn’t sleep. He hadn’t been able to sleep for a long time. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw blood and death and misery. He would wake up calling for someone who wasn’t going to be there. Lance never wanted to bother anyone, so he suffered in silence.Lance remembers some things from the time he was with the galra. It's not pretty.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is based on an amazing idea by @langst-is-my-unborn-baby on tumblr  
> Check them out. They are awesome!

The Castle of the Lions was quiet. It had been hours since the paladins had turned in for the night, or whatever counted as night in space.

Lance laid awake in his bed. He couldn’t sleep. He hadn’t been able to sleep for a long time. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw blood and death and misery. He would wake up calling for someone who wasn’t going to be there. Lance never told anyone about the nightmares. They had enough problems of their own without the addition of Lance’s issues. He didn’t want to bother them.

Instead he liked to take walks, exactly what he was doing right then. The way his footsteps echoed in the empty halls and the lights flickered to life as he walked past them were soothing in their own way.

Lance’s feet took him to the observation deck. He usually ended up there at some point during the night. He liked to sit down there, listening to the quiet hum of the machines and letting his thoughts flow.

Most nights it was empty, but this time it was already occupied.

Pidge was sitting cross-legged on the floor, her laptop balanced on her lap. She had pushed her glasses on her forehead and rolled her sleeves up to her elbows to get them out of the way. She was typing violently, staring at the screen so intensely that it was almost a glare. Her face was covered in tear tracks and her eyes were red. She’d been crying.

The screen flashed red, making the girl groan.

“Hey” Lance called softly, walking toward his teammate. “Are you okay?”

Pidge almost dropped her laptop as she whipped around to face the person who’d interrupted her. When she realized who it was, she quickly covered her face and wiped her tears. “I’m fine.”

“Clearly.” Lance said sarcastically. He sat next to Pidge, who closed her laptop and set it aside. Apparently she didn’t want Lance to see what she had been doing.

There was a minute of silence between them.

“I was trying to find Matt-” Pidge eventually spoke, “But I just can’t break this stupid code and-“ she looked like she was going to add something else to that, but her voice grew strangled and she had to swallow and gasp for breath. Another wave of tears spilled down her cheeks.

Lance carefully placed a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. “You’ll figure it out. You’re smart. I know you can find him.”

“I wouldn’t have to find him if you hadn’t left him”

Lance flinched, pulling his hand away from Pidge like he’d been burnt. It felt like Pidge’s teary, furious eyes were staring straight into his soul and she wasn’t happy with what she saw.

“You left him with the galra! Who knows what they did to him?” She yelled. Her hands were balling in fists. She was trying to resist the urge to punch something. Most likely Lance.

“I’m sorry-“

“It’s too late to be sorry. For all we know, he could be dead, and it would be ALL YOUR FAULT!”

With those parting words, Pidge stormed out of the room.

Lance stared after her for a long time. Was that really how she saw him? Did she really blame him for leaving Matt behind?

Lance sighed and buried his face in his scarred hands. She was right. Lance should have forced Matt into that escape pod. Lance should have been the one to fight that battle, not Matt. Matt had a sister who was willing to risk her life to bring him back home. He had friends who were just as willing to risk their lives for him. Heck, Lance would give his life in a heartbeat, just to have Matt back.

Lance was replaceable, Matt wasn’t.

Matt was… perfect. He was smart, funny and just amazing. He deserved to be free. Not trapped by the Galra or-

He shook his head. Matt couldn’t be dead. Pidge needed him. His family needed him.

Lance needed him.

He remembered the first time he met Matt. It had been a hot summer day so instead of wearing the Garrison issued uniform, he was wearing jeans and a pepe T-shirt.

And, of course Lance had commented on it.

Fortunately, Matt thought it was hilarious instead of idiotic, which it actually was, but Matt had always been too good for Lance.

They’d gotten along like they had known each other forever.

It had been awesome to have someone who he could talk to as easily as he could talk to Matt, but then feelings came along and made everything much more complicated

 

-

 

“Hey Lance,” The other boy was sitting on a chair a few feet away from Lance. He was chatting with Katie, so he probably wanted to see Lance’s reaction to something funny Katie said. There wasn’t much to do on a spaceship except talk. By now Lance knew more about Katie than she probably wanted him to know and in Matt had learned a lot about Lance’s family too. They both missed their families, but talking helped. “Check out this meme Katie sent me!”

Lance scooted closer to peer at the screen. Matt kept his eyes on Lance. He was grinning, his golden eyes sparkling with excitement. It was cute how excited he got over a meme.

It was a cat meme. It had a picture of two kittens with their paws wrapped around each other and it had the text “Holt tight” under the picture in bold.

The Cuban smiled and chuckled. It was so cute. He glanced up at Matt who had a dumb happy smile on his face.

“You must be that meme because you’re cute and I want to Holt you tight.”

Wait- no. He did NOT just say that!

Lance blushed and looked away. That was so stupid. Why did he say that? Matt was going to hate him. Lance just lost a really good friend just because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut about his crush. This is why he needed Hunk. Hunk never let Lance embarrass himself like this.

A chuckled interrupted Lance’s thoughts. Oh no. Matt was laughing at him.

“Was that flirting?” Matt asked between the chuckles. He didn’t sound angry but that didn’t make Lance feel any better about the laughing. When someone laughed at your flirting, it meant they thought it was dumb and they were totally not interested and were probably going to laugh about it with their friends later. Lance groaned and muttered Spanish curse words under his breath

That only made Matt laugh harder. “Come on Lance, blue eyes, meme man, sunshine. Look at me.”

“Sorry, I don’t speak English.”

There was a beat of silence, then Matt grabbed Lance’s hands and pulled them away from his face to make Lance look at him.

“Are you from outer space? Because when I look at your eyes I see the galaxy in them.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds before both bust out laughing.

 

-

 

Lance chuckled at the memory. He had so many good memories with Matt. He remembered arranging rocks to make them spell out ‘Iverson sucks’ Because space was the only place they could do that without being punished for it, he remembered watching stars together when they didn’t want to go to sleep, exchanging horror stories and conspiracy theories and slow dancing under the stars.

Slow dancing in space. That one had been an experience. Matt had somehow managed to make the ship play music on the outside, pretty much transforming it to a huge stereo. He pretended to have nothing to do with it, saying that it must be his father’s doing, but it was too well planned to be an accident.

It was dumb, but it was one of Lance’s fondest memories. At that moment he’d felt invincible. Back then they weren’t sure what they were yet. They were something. Not quite lovers, but no longer just friends. That dance proved that there could be something more.

Then they had been captured by the Galra.

Lance didn’t remember much of his time in captivity. There were bits and pieces he could remember and the general feeling of constant fear, but most of it was foggy, like an old movie he’d watched once. He had a general idea of what happened, but he couldn’t remember the details.

The things he did remember made him wish that he would never regain his memory. He didn’t want to know everything he and Matt had gone though.

 

-

 

Lance’s face collided with the cold, hard floor after the sentries pushed him inside the cell.

The cell was gross and cold, and it was filled with other prisoners. They were all aliens of different species and they all looked defeated and broken. One of them stepped forward and offered to help Lance up. She was tall and had swampy green scaly skin and four arms, but she was so sickly thin you could see every single bone on her body. Her face was sunken in and covered in scars. One of her five eyes was covered with a piece of cloth and there was a dark spot on it where the eye was supposed to be.

Lance took her hand. He didn’t want to accidentally hurt anyone, and she didn’t look like she would be able to pull him up, but he didn’t think he would be able to stand on his own either.

Surprisingly she was able to get Lance on his feet fairly easily. Her lips twitched a bit as if she was trying to smile, but the two scars going over her mouth stopped her from doing that.

“Thank you.” Lance said and smiled, trying to show how grateful he was despite the language barrier.

She seemed to understand him and brought Lance’s hand, to her forehead. She uttered a single word in a quiet but smooth voice. “Kiria.”

The gesture seemed odd to Lance, but he didn’t really understand alien customs. That may be completely normal to her species. “Kiria?”

Her lips twitched again. She moved their joined hands on Lance’s forehead and nodded.

They let go of each other’s hands. Lance hoped he didn’t just get alien married or something. That would be bad considering his boyfriend was currently missing and Lance had no idea where he was.

Lance was scared for Matt. The last time Lance had seen him he’d been forced to the arena. Lance had no idea what anyone was saying, but it was clear that you didn’t come back from the arena.

“What’s your name?” Lance asked the alien woman who helped him. She looked confused and said something in a language Lance couldn’t understand.

“Umm-“ How did you ask for someone’s name without words? Lance pointed at her, then shrugged. He repeated the action a few times. She didn’t seem like she understood what Lance was trying to say.

Lance pointed at himself. “Lance” then he pointed at her and waited.

Her eyes lit up as she finally realized what he was talking about. “Jaiva!” she said enthusiastically.

“Thanks, Jaiva.”

She closed all of her eyes for a moment and nodded.

The metallic sound of the sentries’ footsteps was back. Most of the aliens pressed tighter against the walls, shaking in fear. Jaiva took Lance’s hand and pulled him along so that they could press against the wall too.

The sentries stood behind the door for a moment before opening the door and pushing the next prisoner in.

Lance almost screamed in relief. It was Matt. He wanted to run over immediately, but the sentries were still there.

One of them stepped in the cell. He made his way to a group of aliens and pointed his gun at one of their heads.

The purple alien let out a high-pitched whine. They were shaking violently.

Matt coughed on the floor and tried to push himself up, but the other sentry kicked him back down.

They forced the purple alien out of the cell. they were kicking and whining as they were dragged off.

Lance ran the moment the doors closed. He knelt next to Matt and gathered the blonde in his arms.

“Oh my god, Matt!” He gasped. He held Matt tightly as if he would disappear if Lance let go. He was so glad that Matt was there. He was still alive and breathing and in one piece. He was with Lance again. Lance buried his face in Matt’s shoulder and let the tears fall. He’d been so scared, but the fear slowly seeped out of his thoughts as Matt wrapped his arms around Lance and squeezed him just as tight.

They were sitting in the middle of a cell with dozens of aliens staring at them, but Lance didn’t care because he had Matt and they were safe for now.

Then they heard a blaster shot and the whining from the alien that had been taken away stopped.

 

-

 

It had been a few months. The residents of the cell had come and gone. Some of them were taken away, then brought back but most of them never came back. They all knew they would never see those people again.

Matt and Lance didn’t let go of each other for a moment when they were in the cell together. The knowledge that at any moment one of them could be taken away made them want to take advantage of the moments they could spend together.

At that moment they were leaning against the wall, their shoulders touching and fingers intertwined. They weren’t talking. They were just sitting together. Jaiva was sitting nearby. She’d become a real friend in the few months they’d known her despite the language barrier. It was so bizarre. Lance was a prisoner of an alien race, stuck on a spaceship and forced to fight for entertainment, a bit like Hunger Games in space, and his only friend aside from Matt was an alien.

“I miss Earth.” Matt muttered.

Lance sighed. He laid his head on Matt’s shoulder and closed his eyes. “Me too.” He agreed. “I miss my mom. And Hunk. Even my nieces and nephews and they were little devils.”

“I hope Katie’s doing okay.”

“She’s strong. She’ll be able to get over it and when we get out, she’ll punch you for making her worry.” Lance chuckled.

Matt hummed. “You’re right. She would.”

Lance yawned. He was so tired. He was going to take a nap real quick. He liked talking about earth but he couldn’t even keep his eyes open. Just five minutes-

 

“Kiria”

 

Not now Jaiva. I’m trying to sleep.

 

“Kiria!”

What is it?

 

“Lance!”

 

Lance groaned and blinked. His vision was foggy so he blinked a few more times to clear it up. it didn’t help that much. He was so tired.

“Lance, stay with me!” That was Matt’s voice but Lance couldn’t find his face. He turned his head. Where was he?

Lance caught a glimpse of blonde hair. Matt was hovering above him. He was shaking and his eyes were wide. “Jaiva, help me!”

 

Lance closed his eyes just for a second, but when he opened his eyes again, Jaiva was the one hovering over him. Lance felt a weird pressure on his chest. It was uncomfortable. He tried to bat it away but was unable to.

Jaiva turned to look at Lance. She looked panicked. “Kiria.” she gasped. Tears were gathering in her eyes. She pressed one hand on Lance’s forehead. It was covered in a red liquid.

Blood. Someone was bleeding.

Jaiva looked apologetic. She brushed Lance’s hair out of his face and pressed her hands on his chest.

 

A searing pain surged through Lance and he screamed.

 

Suddenly he was back at the arena, fighting a beast that looked like a hybrid of a boar and a rattlesnake. It may sound funny but there was nothing funny in the way its teeth tore through Lance’s skin and muscle, breaking bones like they were twigs and leaving a huge bleeding gash on his chest.

The pain hit Lance all at once and he was knocked unconscious.

 

“Don’t you dare die on me

“LANCE!”


	2. Chapter 2

Lance slowly regained consciousness.

He could hear quiet whispers in a language he couldn’t understand. He’d gotten used to that during the time he’d spent in the cell. The only person he could understand, aside from the Galra whenever they decided to bark commands that needed to be understood, was Matt. It did get kind of lonely, even if Lance would never give up Matt. He hated not being able to talk to anyone but his boyfriend.

There was muffled sobbing and a soothing sound that may have been humming. It was far quieter than it used to be in the cell, Lance noticed. That must mean that the young alien child with large humanlike eyes and furry ears had been taken away while he was unconscious, and she hadn’t come back. She had been energetic and loud despite being stuck in a cell. Kind to a fault and always willing to help no matter what. She’d helped dress wounds and feed those who were too weak to feed themselves. She’d even held a dying alien’s hand as they took their last breath. She had been so kind, but now she was gone, leaving behind only fond memories and a mourning family.

Lance wanted to stop hearing the cries. They made him think of what it was probably like back home. How his mother would hold his sister while she cried, and his brother would refuse to step into the house. He’d always ran away from his problems before and this time wouldn’t be any different. His father would keep a brave face, but he would be more tired, and his niece and nephew would ask when he would be back, and the answer would be ‘never’ 

While he had been thinking, cold had started seeping through his thin prisoner jumpsuit and into his lower body that was pressed against the floor which felt far colder than usual for some reason. Lance’s upper body was propped up, his back pressed against something- or rather someone solid and warm. It was Matt. Not only did no other alien look enough like him, but a metallic hand was holding Lance’s. There was no mistake on who it belonged to.

Matt had been taken to the arena. Lance had waited anxiously for his return, like always but it was taking so long. Lance was getting nervous. He hoped everything was okay. It wasn’t. When Matt came back, he was babbling incoherently, and his right hand had been replaced by a metallic replica.

Lance always felt guilty about that. He knew that he could have protected Matt if he’d just tried, but he didn’t. Matt didn’t blame him but Lance couldn’t help beating himself up for letting the other boy get hurt. They were supposed to help each other in situations like this, not let terrible things happen.

A hand was combing through Lance’s hair gently and soothingly. It was enough to silence his worries for now and, almost enough to lull Lance right back to sleep. 

Then came the smells.

The cell always smelled like death, rotting flesh and the ‘blood’ , or whatever it was that kept all these creatures alive, of the aliens, but this time there was also an extremely strong smell of burnt flesh right under his nose. It was disgusting and made lance want to throw up.

And finally, he registered the pain.

-Well, it wasn’t as much of a pain as a constant ache in his chest that got worse when he breathed. As he inhaled and exhaled, stretching his wounds and-

Wait, wounds.

Lance’s brain was clearly not working yet. He’d gotten injured in the arena the night before, or had it been longer? He had no idea how long he’d been out

Lance tried to open his eyes. It turned out to be infuriatingly difficult but eventually Lance managed to open his eyes. It took a few blinks to see clear, not that he needed to as he was met with the sight of the opposite wall. Lance blinked lazily again and looked around.

Jaiva was curled on the ground next to them. Despite being asleep her forehead was wrinkled with worry and one of her hands was resting against the floor, right next to Lance’s other hand, which made the Cuban think she’d been holding his hand while he slept.

It was strange how quickly she’d gotten attached to them and they to her. She still didn’t call Lance by his name, instead insisting on calling him Kiria, but at least Lance knew it hadn’t been a marriage ritual she’d done when they first met. That still confused him. What was that? He wished there wasn’t a language barrier so that he could just ask. He really wanted to know because the name ‘Kiria’ was important to Jaiva, if it was even a name at all.

Lance laid there quietly, enjoying the fingers running through his hair and the quiet humming from the alien from before. The crying had stopped. 

Eventually he got tired of his feet freezing off and opened his mouth to complain about it. His dry lips tried to stick together an refuse to let him talk and there was something in his throat but he was stubborn.

“M- Mah- tt“ Lance muttered. He then coughed violently. It sent a surge of pain through his body, especially in his chest. Lance tried to move his hands to cover the spot but was incapable of doing it, only managing to twitch his fingers slightly.

Matt’s hand stopped running through Lance’s hair. “Lance.” He gasped. He buried his face in Lance’s hair, squeezing Lance’s hand so tight he was sure it was going to break again but it didn’t feel like much in addition to everything else.

“Cold-“ Lance whispered. His voice was raspy and his throat hurt like hell. He swallowed again, trying to get rid of the pain.

“I’m sorry.” Matt muttered. He pressed his face on Lance’s shoulder and nuzzled it.

Lance tried to move again to face his boyfriend, but his body still refused to comply. “Can you help me turn around? I want to see your face.”

Matt shook his head. “No Lance. I would hurt you.”

“How?”

Matt took a deep breath, like what he was going to say pained him but he had to say it anyway. “You have long scars on your chest. They’ve just began to heal. Jaiva had to burn the edges to keep you from bleeding out.”

“Oh- she can do that?” Lance asked. He hadn’t known Jaiva could do that. Maybe he didn’t know as much about Jaiva as he thought he did, which wasn’t very much in the first place.

“Yeah. She probably would have told us but she doesn’t know our language.”

Lance hummed. That was the problem they always had. The stupid language barrier that prevented them from truly knowing each other. That didn’t mean they cared about each other any less, it just meant there were certain things they just weren’t aware of. “Okay”

 

The silence that followed was tense. Neither of them knew what to say and both were afraid of saying something wrong. Lance hated it. Matt was the one person he got along with better than anyone else. He didn’t want things to be awkward between them, so he said:

“Seems like I’ve fallen in your arms again.” 

Lance was expecting Matt to laugh or at least chuckle. Matt did neither of those things. Instead he started to shake. He gasped for breath and his tears fell on Lance’s shoulder.  
“Please don’t joke about this” Matt pleaded. “You almost died. You were out for so long- I thought I was going to lose you.”

“Matt-“  
“I thought I would never be able to tell you I love you. Because I do. I love you Lance and I would hate myself if I never told you.”  
Silence fell over them again as Lance tried to process what Matt had just said. He’d almost died. That much was obvious with the amount of pain he had experienced earlier. The other thing was that Matt loved him. He hadn’t known that. He knew that Matt liked him, they hadn’t really talked about things like that, but love? That sounded too good to be true.  
“I love you too.” He whispered. Matt squeezed his hand but didn’t say anything.

Jaiva stirred after an hour or so. She sat up and immediately found the two of them. She was making sure they were still there, that she wasn’t alone.

Her eyes widened when she saw Lance was awake. She quickly sat up on her knees and leaned forward to take his face in her hands. She brushed her fingers over his forehead and through his hair and smiled. At that moment she looked so much like Lance’s sister that it hurt. There was an emotion in her eyes that Lance hadn’t been able to identify before, but that was now crustal clear. She saw him as family.

It shouldn’t have made him as happy as it did.

Jaiva hovered nearby. She looked like she wanted to hug him, but decided against it. She sat back down and took his hand while Matt resumed to stroking his hair. Lance felt safe, surrounded by his small space family.

He drifted off with a smile on his face.

-

The sentries used to come back every day at least once, taking prisoners with them to fight to the death. The prisoners had started coming back less often and new prisoners weren’t appearing as often or in as big numbers as they used to. Lance knew it was useless to hope the Galra weren’t conquering planets anymore. The lack of prisoners just meant that they weren’t taking as many prisoners. 

But the audience needed to be entertained. They wanted fights. And fights they would get.

The Galra’s thirst for blood was insatiable, so they came back for those who had already scraped through too many battles during their lifetime. They weren’t extraordinarily strong, not skilled nor intelligent. They were just people, but they would have to do.

They picked the strongest first, then started coming for the weak.

Lance was still healing when they came for him.

 

-

 

Lance was sleeping when they returned.

Jaiva nudged him to wake him up. It was her turn to watch the door while the others slept. It was a working system. None of them wanted to be woken up by sentries dragging  
you away from your friends.

Lance was nudged again. He groaned. He’d never learned how to sleep lightly like Jaiva and Matt had. They were alert the moment they opened their eyes. Lance had to battle with sleep for a few more minutes before he could actually wake up.

He was especially bad at waking up when Matt had his arms wrapped around him. Matt felt so warm and familiar and safe. Lance’s sleepy mind couldn’t find a reason to think anything was wrong when everything felt so right. That’s why it took him a moment to realize the sentries had already entered the cell.

Lance twisted his body uncomfortably as he tried to keep them in view. They were grabbing several aliens from different parts and pushing them out of the door to the others waiting outside. 

Lance prayed that they wouldn’t take Matt or Jaiva. He couldn’t lose them.

One of them was coming closer. They were the only people in this corner. Please don’t let it be Matt please-

The sentry grabbed hold of Lance and started wrenching him out of Matt’s arms.

Jaiva jumped up and pushed the sentry back. She was glaring at them, standing at her friends’ side, ready to attack again if she had to.

The sentries didn’t have their blasters which was a relief. If they did, they would have shot Jaiva where she stood. 

Both sentries stepped forward. One of them grabbed her but she wrenched herself out of the hold. She punched the sentry in the face even though that seemed to hurt her more than it hurt it.

And while she was occupied, the other sentry completed the task of dragging Lance away from his boyfriend.

Matt snapped awake the moment Lance was ripped away from him. He sprung in action, knocking the guard who had Lance down and forced them to let go of Lance. He pushed his boyfriend away before starting to punch the sentry he had pinned on the ground.

His metal hand did a lot of damage, denting the sentry’s head and severing its neck to the point where it just shut down, practically dead.

The other prisoners looked at the fight with wide eyes full of fear. They had all seen enough fights and death already. They shouldn’t have had to see this, but Matt refused to let them take Lance without a fight and Jaiva was just as fiercely protective.

An alien child scooted closer to his parent who held him closer and shielded his eyes. 

Jaiva managed to knock the other sentry back. He stumbled for a moment before regaining his footing.

Matt and Jaiva looked positively furious. They both attacked the sentry at the same time.

Something went wrong. He slapped Jaiva aside and forced Matt on the ground.

Matt yelled and kicked and scratched, trying to claw the sentry’s head off.

The sentry drew his fist back and brought it down on Matt’s face with force. Then did it again and again. Matt’s nose broke and he would be violently bruised. The sentry grabbed him and cracked his head against the floor.

Lance tried to scream but he couldn’t hear himself. His heart was beating too fast and his ears were filled with static and screams of ‘You’re going to kill him!’ and ‘Stop’ that he couldn’t voice out loud.

The sentry stopped beating Matt only when he was bloody and unconscious. Lance wanted to cry. He didn’t care anymore. Let them take him to the arena. He just wanted Matt to be okay.

Nothing went like planned. The sentry hoisted Matt’s limp body over its shoulder and carried him away, not even glancing in Lance’s direction.

“Matt-“ Lance gasped and tried to push himself up. He needed to help Matt- 

Hot white pain pierced through him and he collapsed back on the ground. He tried to crawl after Matt, calling his name again but nothing happened.  
The loud clang of the door closing felt somehow final.

 

Matt never came back.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been days since they’d taken Matt. It was futile to think he was still alive. If you lived, you would be taken back to the cell to rest so that the next time you would fight as fiercely and be as entertaining as before.

No. Matt was gone.

Lance felt numb. Not only from the cold, but from the loss. There were dried tear tracks on his face, but he couldn’t cry anymore. He had cried when Matt had been taken and when he hadn’t come back by the next day. He’d felt like a crybaby but Jaiva hadn’t judged him, shedding some tears of her own. Lance had been grateful to have her there. They both supported each other. Even though they had been imprisoned for a long time, they hadn’t lost anyone important to them since Sam. They had been lucky but not anymore. 

After they took Matt, they’d stayed away for a couple of days, then they took Jaiva.

Lance had run out of tears after they took her.

It was hard to say how long he’d been sitting there alone. He’d been drifting in and out of consciousness, still barely able to stand, sometimes passing out due to pain because he accidentally disturbed one of his internal injuries.

Lance didn’t know what would be worse, dying in the arena like everyone he cared about in this place, or slowly bleeding out in the cell, cold, numb and alone.

The other prisoners stayed away from his corner. Maybe they knew he was already dying. There was nothing they could do for him. Instead they focused on each other, comforting and holding each other, probably assuring that it would be fine.

Lance snorted. Nothing would be fine. They were all going to die, either from cold, illnesses or the teeth of a monster that hadn’t been fed properly for far too long. At first, Lance had entertained thoughts of escaping one day. Getting back to earth and telling his family that he was alive, but he had lied to himself. There had never been a chance to escape and in this condition? No way. He wouldn’t make it to the end of the hallway much less out of the whole ship.

Escaping was out of question, so Lance didn’t struggle when the sentries came to fetch him for the fifth time.

They half dragged him with them because he couldn’t keep up with their pace. He hoped his death would be quick. He didn’t want to suffer any more than he absolutely had to. Maybe there was an afterlife and he would get to see Matt and Jaiva again. The thought brought a smile to his face despite everything.

The sentries turned to the left and started dragging Lance down a hallway he’d never been to before. This one had several shiny metal doors in rows as far as Lance could see. They didn’t look heavy like the cell door had. It was creepy how quiet it was. No machine noises, footsteps or anything. Lance couldn’t even hear his own steps. The hallway was void of sounds.

Eventually they stopped in front of a door. It was identical to all the other doors and lead to a room with steel walls, ceiling and floor and an operating table in the middle. A woman? Man? Whatever, in a long purple cloak was waiting near the head of the table. 

Lance started struggling. What were they going to do to him? Were they going to dissect and study him like a frog in a biology class? Or like- whoever it was that studied the human anatomy by cutting dead corpses open? Lance didn’t agree to this! He would take a fatal wound from a boar-snake any day rather than subject himself to human experimentation.

The cloaked figure said nothing as the sentries forced Lance on the operating table and strapped him on it to prevent his escape.

Only after the sentries had left, did the cloaked figure move. They hovered over Lance, who was now able to see that she was indeed a woman and that she had purple skin and yellow eyes as well as red scar like markings under her eyes. She looked like someone you wouldn’t want to stumble into under any circumstances. She looked more like a monster from a nightmare than a real being.

Then again, maybe the situation made her seem more terrifying than she actually was.

She grabbed Lance’s chin and turned his head from one side to other. She made a noncommittal noise before turning to examine his wound.

Lance was disturbed by the whole situation. He didn’t want to be examined by a purple female version of It. He wanted to get out of there before anything could happen. He should have tried to fight the sentries before they took him here. Damn the consequences! He had a feeling anything would be better than this.

“Tsk” The woman scoffed and probably rolled her eyes. “Idiots. They almost ruined you. I should have sent my sentries to fetch you the moment you weren’t brought to me after your injury.” It didn’t sound like she was talking to him. Lance didn’t know how he should feel. He’d managed to avoid being a human test subject for a few more days than intended. ‘Feels like such a victory’ Lance though sarcastically.

The woman picked up a thin needle and injected whatever was inside in Lance.

At first it only felt like uncomfortable stinging, like when you hold something really cold for too long, but it got worse until Lance’s whole body was on fire.

Lance squeezed his eyes shut and screamed. He trashed and struggled and tried to break free of his bonds because it hurt like hell! 

It felt like someone was pulling his limbs, trying to rip them away from his body while someone else was stabbing him while a third person was cutting him open with a jagged sword.

Lance lost consciousness several times but every time he woke up, he was reintroduced to the pain. 

By the end of it he was crying and shaking. Ready to welcome the sweet release of death. The pain was slowly subsiding, and Lance found himself sighing in relief.

The cloaked woman came in view once more. Her hands and the front of her robe were stained with Lance’s blood. She looked satisfied with something. 

She raised her hand and instead of slapping Lance like he thought she would, she instead stroke his hair in an oddly gentle way. The way you would usually pet a dog or a cat. A pet. That’s how she was treating him now. After putting him through so much pain, she did this.

“Oh, my new Champion.” she said, her voice was raspy and her smile twisted and frightening. “Do not fear. Your pain today was not for nothing. I have fixed you and I will keep improving you until you become the perfect weapon. I still have plans for you. You have not been forgotten.”

Lance wanted to tell her to go shove her improvements where the sun doesn’t shine but he was too exhausted to talk. He wanted no part in this. He just wanted to see his boyfriend again. Was that too much to ask?

“Rest now. Regain your strength. We wouldn’t want to break you before we have to.” 

Lance snarled at her back as she left. He wasn’t going to play her game. He would get her to kill him or let him go, either accidentally or purposely.

 

-

 

Lance had been laying on that table for who knows how long. His back hurt and his limbs were numb but other than that he felt better than before. Breathing was easier and his head was clearer. 

‘She really did fix me’ Lance admitted grudgingly. He would have loved to say she had lied, that he was still not okay, but that just wasn’t true. She had caused him a lot of pain, but she had done what she had promised.

Lance still didn’t think he should be grateful.

During his time in isolation, he’d learned to appreciate sound. There was nothing in the room and it was maddening. It wasn’t the same kind of all-consuming silence as in the hallway. It was just regular silence. Lance had taken to tapping the operating table with his fingers, humming or talking to have something to do instead of just staring at the ceiling and waiting for the- the witch to come back.

The Cuban shivered. He didn’t want her to ever return. Even if that meant being trapped in this room for the rest of his days.

The door opened, making a quiet sound. Two pairs of footsteps entered the room. They were heavy and metallic. Sentries then. Did that mean they were going to throw Lance in the arena again? He hoped so. The alternatives weren’t nearly as inviting.

They freed him and the other stepped back while the other helped him sit up. One of their hands was pressed against Lance’s back. He was supporting Lance and keeping him in sitting position. Sentries never did stuff like this. They grabbed you and dragged you where you were needed. They weren’t this gentle.

The sentry cupped Lance’s face with his hands. Okay this was freaky. Lance was just about to push the sentry away when-

“Lance.” The sentry sighed in relief.

After the initial shock, Lance came back to his senses and pushed the sentry away from him. it tripped and crashed on the floor with a groan. 

“Who are you?” Lance asked, sliding off the operating table and glaring between the sentry that was guardian the door and the one laying on the ground.

The sentry from before fumbled with his helmet and pulled it off, revealing familiar golden eyes and blonde hair and that crooked smile Lance had thought he’d never see again.

“Matt.” Lance gasped. It was Matt, or it looked just like him. Was this just a clone sent to break him or was this really Matt? He’d never seen Matt die, he’d just assumed when he hadn’t come back.

Lance walked over and knelt in front of Matt. He stared at his face, trying to find anything that was off or anything that would prove that this was really his Matt. Lance ghosted his fingers over Matt’s forehead and cheekbone before cupping his face like he’d done to Lance mere moments before.

Matt’s smile widened and he ran a hand through Lance’s hair. “Hey Lance, blue eyes, meme man, sunshine. I missed you.”

That sold it to Lance. He didn’t think Galra would bother to dig for Matt’s response to the first time Lance accidentally flirted with him. It had to be the real Matt.

Lance could feel tears welling in his eyes. Matt was alive. They were both alive. Lance kissed Matt, trying to show him how relieved he was that Matt was alive and there with him.

The other sentry coughed to get their attention. “Are you done?” She asked, sounding really tired. She folded her arms. “I want to get rid of this armor. It’s crushing my arms.”

Lance’s eyes grew as large as platters and he turned to look at the other person dressed as a sentry. Matt whined at the loss of contact but didn’t try to pull Lance back. “Jaiva?”

The girl nodded. “It’s me. Now, if you’re done wasting time, we have a pod that’s leaving for ‘Earth’ as you people call it in fifteen minutes and I would really like to get out of here.”

“I can understand you.” Lance marveled. He could actually understand the girl he saw as his sister now. “How?”

Matt helped Lance up. He’d forgotten he was still on the floor. “We found a translation device. One of those the Galra use. We were surprised it actually worked. Then we figured out a plan to get you out and escape.”

Lance laughed in delight, for real this time. “You are amazing.” 

Jaiva nodded. “Yeah. Great, great can we go now?” She was shifting anxiously, looking out of the door now and then. “If we’re caught, we’re dead.”

Matt nodded and put the helmet back on. He nodded at Jaiva and they both got back in character. Jaiva grabbed Lance and started pushing him to the direction of the pods.

Most Galra and sentries ignored them, but Lance found his palms sweating whenever they passed someone. Some nodded at them as they hurried past, a few looked at them a little too long but eventually left them alone.

They finally reached the pods with only a few minutes to spare. They were so close. Just a little bit more. They were almost out!

“Hey!”

The trio whipped around to see a Galra point a blaster at them. His hands were steady and there was a look of confusion on his face. “You’re not supposed to take the prisoner to the pods!”

Jaiva worked quickly and knocked the Galra unconscious with the butt of her blaster, but someone down the hall saw them. The trio could hear the Galra yell about an escaping prisoner.

“Shit.” Jaiva cursed. “Three minutes to launch.”

“They’ll be here in seconds. Can’t we speed up the launch?” Lance wasn’t ready to lose either of them again.

Matt shoved his blaster in Lance’s hands. “Take this. I’ll see what I can do.” He rushed to the panel and started fiddling with the panels and typing in commands and codes Lance understood nothing about. He wasn’t sure how much Matt understood either, considering everything was in the Galras’ own language.

Lance raised the blaster. He’d never shot a weapon like this before. His older brother had taught him to shoot a normal gun, without their parents permission, and he’d always been good at shooting games in the arcade but this was different. There was no ‘game over, try again’ He only had to do one mistake and that was it. There would be no second chances, no health bar. This was not a game. 

They started flooding from the hallway before Lance could react. Lance aimed and shot.

There was a scream and a splatter of blood. Lance’s eyes widened. He just killed someone. He murdered someone, even if they were from an evil planet-conquering species, they may have had family and he just stole a loved one from them-

“Lance!”

Lance snapped back in reality. While he’d been in his trance, Jaiva had discarded her armor and handed her blaster to Matt. She had somehow gotten her hands on three daggers that were about as long as Lance’s forearm. She was now spinning like a whirlwind, taking down foe after foe. 

Lance lifted his blaster again and shot those who were getting too close. His aim grew more accurate the more he shot. He ignored the blood and the screams. If he didn’t shoot, he would be the one whose blood ended up splattered across the floor. The pile of bodies was growing. Most of them were the robotic remains of the sentries. It was easier to pretend they were all like that.

“It’s ready to launch!” Matt yelled.

Lance acknowledged that with a nod. He was too concentrated on shooting. He took down another row of sentries but before he could move on to the next, he was grabbed, his blaster was wrenched from his hands and he was pushed backwards in the escape pod.

Lance scrambled up, trying to get back to fight with his friends, but the escape pod had already sealed itself.

Matt flashed him one last smile before turning back at the sentries and continuing to slaughter the sentries and Galra.

Lance screamed his name, banging on the glass. He was begging for Matt to come with him, delay the launch so that they could go home together, but soon he was launched to space and toward the earth.

He knocked his head against the back of the pod. There was an odd smell in the pod. 

Lance passed out again.

-

He’d woken up on Earth, surrounded by scientists who wanted to take him apart, just like the witch who had said she would ‘improve’ him. He was saved by his best friend, his boyfriend’s little sister and two strangers, who turned out to be Matt’s friends. They found a Blue robot lion and flew to space to fight Lance’s previous captors with four more color coded robotic space cats.

It was weird, but it was his life now.

Lance rubbed his eyes. He hadn’t realized he’d started to cry. 

He shook his head, staring into the vastness of space. He knew Matt was out there. Jaiva as well. He hoped they were okay. They had always been stronger than him. They would have survived, even if they hadn’t been able to follow him.

Maybe he could apologize to Pidge and offer to help her later. He wanted to find her brother just as much as she did.

“Don’t worry Matt.” Lance muttered, closing his eyes. “We’re going to find you. I promise.”


End file.
